he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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