I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
