In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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