there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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