I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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