You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Randomize
