Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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