I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
