It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
