That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
