I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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