why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
