the condom got lost in my hair
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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