hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
