what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize