so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
