his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
