Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
