I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
When are your genitals available?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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