Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
