if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
