we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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