Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
