after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
