a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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