So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize