the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
