So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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