this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
