this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
They are going to name an STD after you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
