Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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