He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
