you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
