this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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