You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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