Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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