I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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