you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
