Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
