No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
