we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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