So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
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