I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
