I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
