I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
