omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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