By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
