So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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