All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
