genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You ruined the universe
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize