The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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