Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
