she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
