it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
