woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
