i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
