Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
