end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Farmville is her only friend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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